So, okay…for those of you who aren’t quite caught up, about a month ago a Japanese coworker of mine asked me out. I politely declined and told him that I usually hang out with boys in groups and not really one-on-one most of the time.  To make sure I wasn’t crazy or just making too much out of the invitation, I plucked the minds of my Japanese girlfriends to see what their opinion was.  I kept thinking, maybe he just wanted to hang out, and I got it wrong. (?)

Here’s a quick sample of one of those conversations, but they all pretty much said the same thing.

Friendly-sensei: “So, he wanted to go skiing with you for a day?”

Me: “Hai.”

Friendly-sensei: “Just you and him?”

Me: “Hai.”

Friendly-sensei: “Ummm..,Yeah…we don’t really do that. It sounds to me like an official first date.”

So last week, I had my monthly visitation to the school where he works at.  We hadn’t seen each other since before he had asked me out via email, so I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this visitation, which is a real shame, because I really like this school, well I USED to anyway. So, the day before my visitation he emails me an apology for asking me out along with the lesson plan like 10 minutes before I am off of work.   He usually sends me the lesson plan at least a day or two beforehand, not so last minute.

I show up at school the next day, and go into the special room they designated for the ALT.   Instead of coming to lurk around my desk and try to talk to me, for hours (which is what he usually does when I come to visit) he mysteriously doesn’t show up until much later.  I think its because because he is probably a little embarrassed to see me after I had declined the ski trip invitation.  Anyway, he shows up right before class starts which a copy of his email in hand, which contains the apology and the lesson plan.   He places the paper on the desk and pushes the email to me to make sure I can see the place where he apologized.  I really am not certain what he expects me to say,  it was like I could feel his awkwardness oozing my way, but I try to cover up for him, and so I just pretend that nothing happened.   Denial is always a good way of dealing with awkward situations.  So I smile and carry on, we have our lessons, and I think that is the end of it.


First off, I should not have told him that I hang out in groups.  Because I guess he mistakenly thought this was an opportunity for him to  invite himself to hang out with me in my group of friends.  Secondly, I should have told him directly, “I am sorry, but I am not interested.” Thirdly, I should not have smiled at him. EVER. Why should I have done all these things?  WHY you ask?

Because he freaking emailed me AGAIN to hang out.  Omgash…I thought we were clear!  I mean, he even apologized to me for asking me out!   I was feeling bad for him before, but now I am just getting annoyed.  Okay, Mr. Coworker, I really didn’t want to do this. I feel you are  is pushing me into a direction I do not want to go.  I am gonna have to go Puerto Rican on you.

me:   omgeee so my coworker asked me out again UGH
Puerto-Rican-Twin: hahahaha
me: reave me aroooonnneee
Puerto-Rican-Twin: Wait. How did he ask you out?
me: email
Puerto-Rican-Twin: hahahaha…So what did his email say this time?
me: well the thing that bothers me is not what he said, but the fact that he is still pushing to hang out with me after I told him no indirectly TWICE and he sent me an apology email for asking me out
Puerto-Rican-Twin: lol You need to be straight but polite
me: i cannot believe he has asked me out again…its like he forgot what happened well I was nice about it, and I dont think he gets it ..geez…I am gonna have to bust out the Puerto Rican if he doesnt stop bothering me

Puerto-Rican-Twin: hahahaha

Okay, so when I was living in London for school, there were multiple times I had to go all Puerto Rican and yell at boys to leave me alone.   I remember once I was walking back to my dorm at night and this car zoomed up next to me stopped, and rolled the window and and this guy started to solicit me.  I was not wearing any revealing clothes, just normal graduate student apparel, so I started yelling at him to “P*ss off!” And he zoomed away realizing that I meant business.   Also once I was at the crosswalk near Camden Market and someone pinched my bottom.  No lie, I turned around with fiery darts in  my eyes and eyeballed the first guy I thought it could have been angle wise.  I shot lasers of fire from my eyes at him, and was about to say something but then he finally looked over at me and said sheepishly, “I’m sorry.” 

In the Western world, I think this kind of behavior is acceptable for women, but I don’t think that would go over so well here in Japan.  Not that my coworker has tried to do any of these kinds of things to me, but it is so much harder to get rid of him.  It’s sort of like playing Whack-A-Mole.  Like he comes up and I hit him, and he goes down, and then comes up again later and tries to ask me out once more.

 Last night I was watching FRIENDS and passed out on my bed, and then at one point my doorbell rang.  I woke up really confused, and look to see the clock is like 9:12pm. The doorbell rings again, and I hear a car running outside my door. I am a hot mess, and in my PJs, there is no way I am going to answer my door.  Plus, its rude to come over to someone’s house so late, in my opinion, without calling or at least facebooking that person. 

 Then the thought occurs to me, OMGSH what if I have a stalker??? Having a stalker if you are foreign is not uncommon in Japan, unfortunately, and a couple of my friends here even in rural areas have had legit stalkers.  So I wait until they leave to walk downstairs and bolt my door.   I mean its 9pm, even the postman doesn’t come over that late.  And anyone who knows me, would text or call me.  There is a slight chance that it may be a Jehovah’s Witness (yes, we even have them in the middle of nowhere Japan), but I have been told they usually come on the weekend. It’s only when I am upstairs that I think it might be a good idea to sleep with a knife under my pillow.    Anyway though I am too lazy to go back downstairs so I look around my room to see what I have.  I decide the best weapons I have in my room are:

Weapon Number One: Candle Lighter.  Easy to access, not dangerous to sleep with as there is a safety lock on it.  And it’s fire, very lethal and effective.

Weapon Number Two: Sewing Scissors. Small, but very effective.  I have almost cut myself with them before and it was not pleasant.

Weapon Number Three: Sewing Needles. Will go for the intruder’s eye.  Or other equally vulnerable part.

Maybe I am over reacting, in all likelihood it was probably my cable company wondering why I haven’t paid my bill yet, or NTT asking me for a donation for their public access channel, even though I don’t watch my tv. EVER.  I don’t even have internet at my house. 

Plus, I don’t think stalkers ring your doorbell.  They usually lurk in your window while you are doing your dishes.  This happened to my friend The Beast who lives in another prefecture now.  But for the past 5 years he had a stalker in the Blue Forest who would show up everywhere he was and constantly creep around his house spying at him through his windows.  After about 5 years of this she showed up at his door one day, (hmm, maybe stalkers do knock/ring the doorbell sometimes) and he had finally had it. 

“I told you NEVER TO COME HERE!!!” It was just like the voice Beast used in Beauty and the Beast when he got mad that Belle had went into the West Wing and he got really angry and yelled at her to get out.  Except for the Beauty in this story was actually a Middle-Aged Stalker Lady from rural Japan.

The Beast told me that the next Monday at school the students were practicing their English asking each other what they did over the weekend, and one of his students said, “This weekend I heard Beast-sensei yell really loud in the neighborhood.”

That was the last time he saw her.

Maybe that is what Princess #2 should do.  Because for the past couple weeks this one guy in his 30s keeps coming over to her house, the first time when she was sick and she was in her PJs and he just opened the door to her house and walked in and started feeling her forehead.  He said he was sent by the water company to check some meters in her house, but he came back again and just barged in.  In any event,  that is still weird behavior and it is rude to just walk into someone’s house without asking or without warning no matter what country you are from.